have all the good men gone? it’s all in your head

this is inspired by my FlatMate’s post on the big debate regarding the dearth of good men.

1) i feel most of the gen(t)eralizations made out there don’t apply to me, so i’m not going to offer anything to add to the ‘crucial male perspective’

2) i put it out there : is it possible that there are many men out there who feel that there is a dearth of good women?

actually, it’s not really a matter of numbers, unless one WANTS to generalize, bucketize, compartmentalize, judge, label, etc.

entertaining as it is to read and participate in such debate, i find that it’s not really more than a intellectual/theoretical exercise. in my characteristic style of stretching an argument to absurdity, i would like to examine the notion of a ‘good’ something.

in this context, something is ‘good’, if it meets my expectation(s). (you shall see in a moment why that ’s’ is in brackets)

so, if my expectation is that a girl will sleep with me, and none of them will, i am suffering from a dearth of good women in my life. (sounds about right…)

similarly, i would say, the condition of there being a dearth of good men can be thought as a mismatch of expectations and availability.

one can (and will) counter this line of thinking with something about reasonable expectations, or being civilized, or evolved, or it taking two to tango, but really, all of those have highly subjective (and constantly changing) meanings, don’t they?

on a separate note: the trouble, i feel, when talking in generalizations is that it’s very easy to slip into mass prescription mode, which makes a person no better than promoters of organized religion (specifically those vegan ones!) — of course, i still think most women should always want to have sex with me.

anyhow. this is something that i can talk about till the cows are blue in the face. in the difference total, my point is that expectations from relationships need to be looked at a lot … differently … than they’re often seen today, especially where one feels that there are systemic lapses and voids. these — do NOT — exist. they cannot exist, otherwise society would probably cease to function. these do not exist, it is only our perceptions of things that make us feel that they do.

interlude

hello everybody. it’s been 19 strips. i’m not taking a break or anything, but i’m slowly realizing the limitations of stick-figures and MS Paint. in the meanwhile:

yeah. you get my drift. who’s laughing now, punk? heh…

thanks, G, for always watching my back.

Four

one year closer to life

it’s been a year. not one of those crazy years in college or school where days were for seeking out air-conditioning and nights were meant for discovery. enough.

and i think the overbearing conclusion of this year is that i have sold my soul. a part of me clings on desperately to the Barbarian, but the spirit knows that his days are numbered. m & a were my oars while i rowed through the currents of reflection, and much is now clear to me. and it’s okay. it’s all okay. for now.

you see, i don’t do anything i particularly love. no, let me rephrase that; i don’t do anything i’m particularly passionate about. oh, i enjoy my work in parts, especially the parts where i get to lecture captive audiences on the finer (or focal) points of communicating, or cultural sensitivity. but that makes me little more than a glorified parrot. but that’s not the point of this ramble.

listening to the album undermind by phish. just through a few songs right now, but it’s shaping up well.

i want to write about how much i love you
i want to write about how much i have changed, or how i think i have changed in this last year. i don’t know if it has anything to do with you, and i don’t want to second-guess myself, my environment, and countless other influencial factors responsible for these changes, so i want to stay clear of causal statements.
i want to express how much i miss you, in a way which is beautiful, memorable, and pleasing to readers, without being corny or cheesy. and definitely without being unoriginal or plagiarist.
i want to write about how i’m okay being who i am. how i’m looking forward to building this future with you. how being with you, and being happy with you means more to me than being in a job that i like, or being in a company that i like. i want to do what’s best for us, because the time i spend with you is not necessarily the same time i spend doing things to make us, our families happy.

i want to write about how i’m beginning to love my parents all over again. how it burns me up that my father still has to work. about how weak i am to not be able to stand by his side and help him with what is possibly his last attempt at building a future for his children, for me. about how i want my parents to spend the rest of their lives without worrying about us, or their parents, or their siblings, or anything. about how this all gnaws at me inside, and how it’s something i haven’t sorted out yet. someday i will.

and someday i will write it all as well. but not today.