Archive for relationships

Doodles 6

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on 9th May, 2010 by kal


Happening as we sip =)

Posted by Wordmobi

Doodles 4

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on 9th May, 2010 by kal


“So obviously dull”

have all the good men gone? it’s all in your head

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on 2nd September, 2009 by kal

this is inspired by my FlatMate’s post on the big debate regarding the dearth of good men.

1) i feel most of the gen(t)eralizations made out there don’t apply to me, so i’m not going to offer anything to add to the ‘crucial male perspective’

2) i put it out there : is it possible that there are many men out there who feel that there is a dearth of good women?

actually, it’s not really a matter of numbers, unless one WANTS to generalize, bucketize, compartmentalize, judge, label, etc.

entertaining as it is to read and participate in such debate, i find that it’s not really more than a intellectual/theoretical exercise. in my characteristic style of stretching an argument to absurdity, i would like to examine the notion of a ‘good’ something.

in this context, something is ‘good’, if it meets my expectation(s). (you shall see in a moment why that ‘s’ is in brackets)

so, if my expectation is that a girl will sleep with me, and none of them will, i am suffering from a dearth of good women in my life. (sounds about right…)

similarly, i would say, the condition of there being a dearth of good men can be thought as a mismatch of expectations and availability.

one can (and will) counter this line of thinking with something about reasonable expectations, or being civilized, or evolved, or it taking two to tango, but really, all of those have highly subjective (and constantly changing) meanings, don’t they?

on a separate note: the trouble, i feel, when talking in generalizations is that it’s very easy to slip into mass prescription mode, which makes a person no better than promoters of organized religion (specifically those vegan ones!) — of course, i still think most women should always want to have sex with me.

anyhow. this is something that i can talk about till the cows are blue in the face. in the difference total, my point is that expectations from relationships need to be looked at a lot … differently … than they’re often seen today, especially where one feels that there are systemic lapses and voids. these — do NOT — exist. they cannot exist, otherwise society would probably cease to function. these do not exist, it is only our perceptions of things that make us feel that they do.

instant messaging killed the in-person star

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on 15th May, 2008 by kal

sigh… i too am part of the batches that were subjected to 24-hour internet and compulsory computers. not that i minded the convenience of it all. but the IM’ing thing really got to me. and i mean REALLY got to me.

and i can’t say that perhaps the other life where people would have to get out and talk to each other a lot more is better or worse or anything, because i didn’t live it. but i just thought the whole thing was phony (uh oh… i feel the holden caulfield in me surfacing).

and its not like one or two things about it was phony. i mean the whole goddamnned thing was out of control. group buzzes for missing books, chaddies and project group members. lame ‘comp hijacks’ proclaiming somebody’s misplaced their vaseline. the stupid emoticons and the umpteen misunderstandings with (usually) the opposite sex because of my absolute refusal to use them.

i have actually been in crowded rooms where two people’s (M & T, e.g.) idea of a quiet personal conversation was IM’ing each other from 8 feet apart.

thank god for AOE. now that was something i could online, and then get out and talk to my fellow players about over nimbu-paani/navycut at dadu’s.

i’m getting a strong sense of deja vu… have i griped about this before?

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